Posted by
AudiR10TDI on Sunday, July 29, 2007 11:51:05 AM
July 29, 2007 -- I woke up yesterday morning (was waked up, that is, by a cat that believes 6:00 a.m. is the right time to get up regardless if it is Saturday or Judgement Day) and looked at the list of things I had to do so that I could head out to a gathering of friends who may be facing their last chance to boo Sebastian Bourdais before he leaves the country, and realized that not a single thing I have on that list inspired any enthusiasm in me.
I am simply tired of everything.
My friends on the internet trudge in circles -- the racing fans whine that We Need More Americans, about ROI, about whether or not mostly naked girls have a place at the race track, and about why we should not race outside the USA; Canadian Conservative friends blabber endlessly about homoseualx, feminists and abortion, stopping only now and then to complain that their taxes are too high AND they aren't getting enough FUNDING for whatever pet activity or protected class they happen to espouse or belong to. My American Conservative friends wrinig their hands over Hilary and Obama, about feminazis and about how Sinister Forces are Controlling The World. And about how their taxes are too high and their own protected group should be getting more of the money that ought to be extorted only from other people and not them. Travelling has become exhausting and annoying, airline travel more like riding the bus, and all of it crammed with people whose sole interest in life seems to be asserting their right to make as much noise as possible. Everybody moves too slowly or not at all; all of my family seems to be determined to make a Federal Case out of things that are at heart extremely simple -- and on top of that I got a telephone call from someone at a credit card company who wants to get me to take out a consolidation loan, who purported to tell me that I was paying more in interest every month than his plan would propose, and who had the nerve to ask me why I was using the counter cheques his company showers into my mailbox three times a week begging me to improve my life by using them. My church is filled with people who come there because they have to, who talk all the way through the service (and text message and play hand held games) and despite the knowledge that one does not attend church because of the congregation, it still bothers me that this is the fifth church I have attended in my 11 years in Canada and still nobody will speak to me except when the service demands that they do.
On the good side, of course, I still have my health and a long life experience hints that eventually everything will work out somehow.
But this weekend, as I prepare to go off to a race-watching party in a determined effort to keep from sinking into depression -- not in anticipation of a good time, and with the full knowledge that when I get home I will have to write a race report, the photographer will not have sent me any photos, and tomorrow I will have to go back to the office where everyone else is juggling eggs and chain saws and knives too -- and my lotto ticket will come up NOT A WINNING TICKET yet again. I just wish something on my list of stuff I have to get done was the least bit interesting.
That's the way it is for now. Life looks dull gray and its a long road with no visibleturns in it. Sigh.