Posted by
AudiR10TDI on Monday, December 11, 2006 7:35:55 AM
December 11, 2006 -- On Friday i went to the local Carlton Cards outlet to get Christmas cards that I wrote out this weekend and will mail today. In searching for something that said "Mother AND Father" not Mother OR Father, Father and His Wife, Mother and Her Husband, or some other indication that Mom and Dad were splitsville, I came across a whole rack of cards that left me in shock and disgust. Who on Earth decided that we needed scatalogical, filthy, hateful Christmas cards?
Who would spend actual cash money to buy a card showing Santa landing on the roof of an outhouse and cursing at the reindeer that "I said the SCHMIDT house!"? Who would want to send a card with a leering photo of a naked Santa on the front and a sexually explicit vulgarism within? Most of all, who was it who even thought such a card might "appeal" to the unreached marketplace of Perverts? What can we expect next year -- cards with naked children on them to appeal to your local Child Porn addict? Flasher cards?
I realize that there is a very large minority of Ponytail Hippies who discovered their wee-wees in the 1960s and have found it necessary to make sure everybody else sees and hears about them on all occasions since then. But trust us, kids, we've seen them and as Daddy says, "If you've seen it before, it's no big deal." Why is it desirable, far less necessary, to vulgarize and, er, poo all over things that are sacred to the majority? Is this just another way to scream YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME? Or is it the same impulse that leads the offspring of these Ponytail Hippies to vandalize cemeteries, scrawl swastikas on synagogues and urinate on war memorials -- that impulse to dirty everything that others find holy, just because they have been taught that nothing has any value and that society will not be "equal" until we are all mired in the muck?
Yes, it is equally vulgar to show a mother with her laughing baby who is just barely old enough to sit up, teaching him with "V-Smile Baby" that Mommy is happiest when he sits on his little heinie in front of a screen manipulating a keyboard, or a child alone in his bedroom with only a single lamp shining on the robot teddy bear who is reading him a bedtime story -- while Mom, no doubt, is out with her latest squeeze or working late at the office, Dad has long ago decamped to the Islands with his Trophy Wife secretary, and the Guatamalan Nanny they hired without checking her papers sits in front of the TV trying to learn enough English to get a better job. But the trend toward filthy, vulgar, crude and poo covered Christmas cards is the ultimate in disgusting, low-class vulgarity and it is my sincere hope that someone will stand up and say ENOUGH.
Someone, I mean, in addition to me.